I love the internet. One of the little girls I lived with in Brazil got a facebook yesterday. She's not so little anymore... she's 14 years old. Prior to this, I had to resort to snail mail and the kids NEVER wrote back. This morning she chatted with me. I had a million questions for her about how she was doing. When I was there, as most of you know, I was in charge of our schoolhouse. I used an art based curriculum (and by curriculum, I mean I made it up as I saw fit) to teach them. They had never had so many supplies before (thanks to many US packages) and we spent almost the entire year and a half working on NOT THROWING AWAY MESS UPs. It was a little bit because we didn't have endless supplies, but also because the minute there was a tiny error, they wanted to rip up their papers and get a new one. They also struggled with wanting me to do everything for them. "Please Erica, can you just draw this for me!" I really wanted to teach them that they were capable of doing it on their own and that imperfections were okay. There was a huge transformation taking place in the confidence of these kids.
Now that I am doing art for my full time job, I am painting almost every day. The perfectionist child in me is still present and I go through hundreds of pieces a paper a month. One error and I want a new paper. I hate imperfection. So I started thinking of Rafaela. I used to always say, you can do it. Just keep going. Nothing has to be perfect. I should really take my own advice.
I told her that this morning. This is what she said,
"voce sabe que eu agora nao reclamo mais das coisas porque eu sei que eu sou capaz de todo e nisso eu penso em voce"
translation: "you know that now I don't throw a fit about things anymore because I know that I am capable of everything and in this I think of you."
I remember clearly the day that Rafaela made her first piece of art all on her own. She didn't ask me once to help her and she didn't throw away any paper. I made a huge fuss about it. It was a purple flower-- we were studying Georgia O'Keefe.
I just got full body chills translating that. "I am capable of everything." My eyes fill with tears as I think about how God used me to teach this young girl that she is capable of everything.
Isn't that what he tells us? We can do all things with trust and faith in him?
I spend all too much time worrying and fearing that I'm not good enough. In fact, I waste all that time worrying and fearing. But my goodness, I pray that I can remember daily that I am capable of all things in him.